Understanding a loved one's addiction

Fear, anger, grief, guilt, exhaustion, love — often all in the same day. Many family members describe living on alert, checking phones and bank accounts, and feeling responsible for something they cannot control. These reactions are normal responses to a very hard situation.

• Addiction is a health condition that changes motivation and self-control; it is not simply a lack of love for you.¹
• Promises made sincerely can still be broken by craving and withdrawal.
• Treatment works, and family involvement can improve the chances someone engages with it.
• You can love someone and still refuse to accept harmful behavior.

Families can't force recovery, but they can influence it: by communicating clearly, setting boundaries, not shielding the person from all consequences, and encouraging treatment. Approaches such as Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) teach these skills and have evidence for helping loved ones enter treatment.